Tanka(s): Bitter/Sweet/Love

June 21, 2011

(The third part in a series of non-traditional meter tanka…)

/Love

I unfurl a canvas
your body
and begin to paint
with my eyes
closed.

As dusk falls
I stop work on your sculpture
my hands unwashed
leaving a part of you
on me.

Your love, like liquid
runs down my throat
through my veins
and then flows into you…
full circle.

Your DNA is smeared
all over me
mine is a helix
anchored
inside you.

My lungs fill
with you..
I dare not
breathe
out.

I treasure your words
keeping them
in envelopes
of different sizes
and colours.

Pages pressed
ink-whispered words
your fragrant vellum
smooth
my spine is strong.

On Sundays
I fold you
into a beautiful square
and keep you
in my back pocket.

coda

I want to be the quiet
you hear
when you open
your bedroom
window..

(part of OneShotWednesday week 51)

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34 Responses to “Tanka(s): Bitter/Sweet/Love”

  1. I love every part of this, so intense yet so tender…beautiful work Peter.

  2. lori said

    There are a lot of great lines here. I liked (among others),

    “Your love, like liquid
    runs down my throat
    through my veins
    and then flows into you…
    full circle.”

    Really nice 🙂

  3. C Rose said

    Many write about love and passion, none so beautifully as this. I could simply melt in each stanza. Truly lovely write ~ Rose

  4. Heaven said

    Your style is beautiful… I can drown in your poetry..ha..ha…

    Love and art goes well together… I recently wrote a piece about it too.

  5. dustus said

    “mine is a helix
    anchored
    inside you.”

    Doesn’t get any deeper than that. Finely crafted Tankas

  6. brian said

    this is grogeous…each seperate nice, but they flow well into each other…the liquid love cycling is my fav…and the note in envelope…

  7. Ah that’s better..meditative quality to this part..favourite of the three 🙂

  8. Beautiful completion of your series, Peter! Loved…envelope…vellum…square. I especially felt the last piece about the window…wonderful!

  9. Pat Hatt said

    You made it all kind of seperate yet fit together at the same time, very well done.

  10. missmary23 said

    I’m totally loving this one! “On Sundays
    I fold you
    into a beautiful square
    and keep you
    in my back pocket.”

    Brilliant!!

  11. Beautiful– something happened I think to my first comment… thanks for visiting me. I especially loved:

    Your DNA is smeared
    all over me
    mine is a helix
    anchored
    inside you….

    You give us a lyrical, erotic meal. xxxj

  12. O, I love this poem. The quintessence of sensuality. Absolutely wonderful images and very original. Thank you for sharing this beauty!

  13. Oh wow, talk about being blown away, swept ashore and getting castaway in words Peter. This was absolutely stunning!

  14. Poetry doesn’t get any better than this. I know all the words, yet you put them together in such a way, I feel I’m learning a new language,and a beautiful one at that. I don’t like leaving your blog. I’ll be back .

  15. lori said

    There were so many great lines, it was hard to pick favorites out, but this stuck with me,

    “Your love, like liquid
    runs down my throat
    through my veins
    and then flows into you…
    full circle.”

    Wonderful!!!

  16. Kavita said

    my God this is beautiful!!! So very sensuous and .. well.. soft.. and yet, so intense..
    Really nice.. and /i totally loved that last stanza!!! Superb imagery, my friend..

  17. Raivenne said

    “On Sundays
    I fold you
    into a beautiful square
    and keep you
    in my back pocket.

    coda

    I want to be the quiet
    you hear
    when you open
    your bedroom
    window..”

    Wow.
    Wow.
    Wow.

    And in a modified Tanka nonetheless, Beautiful!

  18. siubhan said

    I read “Love” first, and then had to go back and read the other two… there is such tender poignancy throughout. Breathtaking:
    “My lungs fill
    with you..
    I dare not
    breathe
    out.”

    Bravo, Peter.

  19. Analaine said

    You sensual poet, you! *melts*

    Oh Peter, this poem is so seductive & comely. I feel the deepened passion of *love* in this poem as if when you wrote this poem, you carved it into stone simultaneously. My goodness, just when I thought this series couldn’t have gotten any better you post this! Breathtaking & speechless…. ❤

    P.S. *still melting*

  20. Analaine said

    You sensual poet, you! *melts*

    Oh Peter, this poem is so seductive & comely. I can feel the deepened passion of *love* in this poem. It’s as if when you wrote it, you carved it into stone simultaneously! I love the symbolically sharp images you paint in each stanza that makes it come together as a sensuous whole. My goodness, just when I thought this series couldn’t get any better you post this! Breathtaking & speechless…. ❤

    P.S. *still melting*

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