June 28, 2011

punctuate me
slash / me
underscore __ me

your lips
around my

when I am with you I do not use apostrophes
I am still learning when to use commas

laying you down
on a bed
of c ns n nts
filling you
with a e i o u
that spill

a beautiful question mark
are you
whose curves
I (think) I know
the answer to

stunned by your trust
your body an !
arms thrown
behind your head

infinitives split
eyes dotted; dilated
the t
of my threshold

syntax stretched
two nouns
two names
two lives
one love
at the hips..

(entry for one shot wednesday week 52)

40 Responses to “punctuated”

  1. Quite breath-taking…

    a gorgeous write Pete.

  2. Sensual and romantic + grammar = wonderful!

  3. Incredibly clever, gorgeous write…

  4. Heaven said

    love it – exclamation point. bold letters.

    specially the last paragraph – exclamation point. bold letters.

    as of now, I am tempering my posts with sensuality because i am not sure if the folks over at OSP can take it. but I think I might submit one real sensual one for OSP…ha..ha…

  5. Hmm Peter..rather interesting..really like the ending, it makes it!

  6. Pat Hatt said

    Awesome job playing with grammar, very interesting writing tactic indeed. Enjoyed it!

  7. Kim Nelson said

    Wow! I love language and words and manipulating the two; and this piece exemplifies the craft. Wonderful!

  8. poemblaze said

    Very fun, creative poem! Well done.

  9. Mama Zen said

    Damn, this is cool!

  10. 1emeraldcity said

    Never again will I write punctuation without thinking of this poem. “Your body an !” Where does all this come from? Amazing! Witty, clever..and yet you have a little poignancy here as well. Thank you!

  11. *exhaling* Peter, this poem goes above & beyond your usual sensuousness in your other poems. I don’t know how you manage to keep building and building but you do. Completely awestruck… πŸ™‚

  12. Pauline said

    Who knew language arts could be so sensuous!

  13. lori said

    Oh, I do like how this is understated in its sensuality, which may not be the best way to say it. I just appreciate the passion you were able to infuse into such common things as punctuation and vowels. Really cool πŸ™‚

  14. C Rose said

    Just wonderful this is word play it is absolute best!

    “laying you down
    on a bed
    of c ns n nts
    filling you
    with a e i o u”

    just loved the mental twist this series provides. Really enjoyed! ~ Rose

  15. I quite enjoy how you played with language.

  16. Always thought grammar was sensuous, but didn’t know why, haaa. Now I see! You’ve captured it beautifully! So creative…nice work : )

  17. Astounding work, Peter.

  18. andthedawn said

    I read this through nine times before being able to contemplate commenting. It is exquisite! Simple, beautiful, romantic, intelligent and astounding.

  19. TheMsLvh said

    Loved the love in this poem. Great write!

  20. So nerdy, so lovely– a sensuous blizzard of asterisks. You get my stamp of approval {awesomest πŸ˜‰ use of playful grammar– hold on let me get out my magnifying glass}
    (.)— PERIOD

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