Thesis this is
October 14, 2011
The consonance of me
ever the line
never the break
the pauses fall flat full
empty vows
arsis betrayed
beaten down
vocal chords hang limp
in position zero
I strive to reach one
joining the decimal points
of infinite words less one
that one word
in throat stuck still
unuttered until
you
you will
punch me in the chest
heart below bone
making me cough up
blood-molassed
the only thing
never said
I always thought
I’d never say.
(part of Open Link Night week 14 – http://dversepoets.com )
expatinCAT's Blog 
I liked molassed
And, do you wish it was left unsaid? Your poem packs a punch. Sorry, all that alliteration makes it sound silly, but I really mean it. Kudos.
I really like this, powerful but restrained somehow, the feeling of deeper, underlying tension, oppositions, is carried without over obvious reference or explicit depiction. The overarching Thesis principle is rather wonderful, transmuted into a ‘self’, where emotion and intellect, are watched, maintained in pure balance, until tripped over, a brief shift, but an important one: the strain.
it is things unsaid that scare me the most…vivid in its imagery and felt in the telling as well of those things we hold on to even if we know better…
whatever keeps us from saying these words…you captured it masterfully…vocal chords hanging limp in position zero and coughing up blood-molassed – intense and raw…
I liked this, well done….
Ah the unsaid speaks volumes
Is the speaker better for having said it, I wonder, or does the speaker experience it as a loss of control, equilibrium? Perturbing questions for such a graceful arrangement of words.
Is it a regretful thing or feared thing that was said/not said in the end? I wonder. Such strong images in few words.
“blood-molassed” damn, love that…actually whole thing..caught myself holding my breath, for that word unsaid ~
vivid in imagery, strong!
A strong, intriguing and both raw and lyrical write, I think. I especially liked:
The consonance of me
ever the line
never the break
the pauses fall flat full
empty vows
arsis betrayed
xxxj http://parolavivace.blogspot.com
so amazing and so well done you have captured the feeling so well and yes what keeps us from saying these words it is hard to say but you have really expressed this so well
http://gatelesspassage.com/2011/10/18/farewell-my-three-legged-friend/
I agree with Mark that the violation is disturbing, not cathartic and I think you masterfully play off the lull and hush of the language. It makes the sharpness less expected and shows us the real pain in the twist of the knife. I have a fever today so if I’ve jumped off a cliff in my interpretation please forgive me. Always a great pleasure to read your work.
Wonderfully lyrical and full of contradiction, anguish, and loss of control for me. The feeling of wanting to avoid the pain, but it’s been put upon you without choice. Just my interpretation : )
Your usual strong, poetic verse sings out here. The creative choice of words and layers of thought, internal upheaval, and imagery are lovely : )
-Eva
“The consonance of me
ever the line
never the break
the pauses fall flat full
empty vows
arsis betrayed
beaten down
vocal chords hang limp
in position zero”
– I’m not exaggerating when I say this blew me away. What a beginning.
sharp, poignant… love the first 3 lines, especially. the syntax does give an impression of restraint, of holding (being held?) back, and the expository “this is” sets the thing up perfectly.
love the way this is written.
Doesn’t that leave ya feelin’ vulnerable? Excellent piece!
grand opening, elegant piece.
strong imagery.
creative piece.
🙂
comment to let us know after you are done reading from poets rally.
Happy Saturday.
🙂
and i love love your words…. simple yet powerful of empty vows..
thanks always for your kind words in my blog~
impressive wording.
🙂
that one word stuck in my throat until you
With each poem that I experience of yours, a thought sticks with me. These simple words arranged just so speak more truth to me than you can imagine.
I love your poetry.
Beth